Comic Transcript

NARRATOR: The Department of Justice explains to the Circuit Court why Ubersoft's guilty verdict should not be overturned.

FEDS: Your Honors, we have proved, beyond all reasonable doubt, that Ubersoft lies, cheats its consumers, and stifles its competitors with extreme prejudice -- all signs of a CEO engaged in Unholy Business Practices.

FEDS: For this reason, we feel you should let the original verdict of "guilty" stand.

JUDGE: Thank you. This court will now hear from the defence.

NARRATOR: Despite their compelling evidence, the D.O.J. was completely unprepared for the stunning legal insight of Ubersoft's top lawyer.

VIKTOR SCHRECK: The trial judge was very mean to us, Your Honors.