Help Desk

Desensitization

Comic Transcript

BOSS: Why are we not inflicting pain and misery on our customers?

ALICE: We are.

BOSS: You lie! I have read our latest customer satisfaction reports, and our customer satisfaction is increasing! This complacency is unacceptable!

ALICE: It’s not complacency, Boss, it’s desensitization.

ALICE: Every time we enact a new program of pain and misery, customer satisfaction decreases. But over time our existing customer base slowly adapts to the new bugs, instabilities and security flaws — because they have no other choice — and new customers simply assume that computers are supposed to work that way, so they don’t know enough to be miserable. Eventually customer satisfaction increases as a result.

BOSS: I see.

ALICE: To counteract this we’ve been working on a predictive algorithm that will anticipate these upticks in customer satisfaction so that we can introduce new pain and misery before desensitization sets in.

BOSS: What form will this pain and misery take?

ALICE: We’re leaning towards administering random electric shocks through the keyboard. Legal is switching the EULA and the warning label as we speak.

Related posts

Who Will Bell The Cat?

C. B. Wright

Another Dead End

C. B. Wright

Suggesting An Alternate Vision

C. B. Wright

Leave a Comment