The head of the IT Department at NifTech.

Alan has two equally important (and difficult) jobs: first, he has to keep upper management from wrecking their network by replacing their efficent, stable, Unix-based technology with the dreaded Nifty Doorways operating environment; second, he has to keep his employees from wreking their network by installing the latest Linux distribution or compiling the newest Linux distribution on live machines.

Alan's best friend and right-hand man -- equally capable at hacking code and smashing skulls with a length of pipe -- Jack has been programming longer than most of the other guys have been alive.

His enthusiasm for Linux is matched only by his deep and abiding joy in acts of malice and capricious behavior.

The youngest of the NifTech IT staff, Johnny is not inherently malicious but is easily influenced by Steven.

Paul remembers when Unix was Unix, and not "Unix-like," when big iron machines ruled industry and when HP-UX was the crowning achievement of man. Those days are long past, and it makes him cranky.

Polite, well-groomed, and well-dressed, it's difficult to believe that he works in IT. Obviously he has a screw loose somewhere...

The CEO of NifTech, he has no affinity for technology whatsoever -- and he knows it, and is perfectly fine with that fact. While he is often shortsighted to the point of myopia, he is by no means stupid.